As I've said before, currently I'm single as can be. In an effort to be open minded and a need to be kept busy, I signed up for a free online dating site, Plenty of Fish.
For the first couple of weeks, it's been the same as when I was on Match - older guys (like much older guys- about at 15 year age difference or so) and not my type/unattractive guys are the ones that continue to email or wink, etc. This time around, I tried to be more active and send a couple of emails- those didn't go anywhere. So, I didn't go online for a couple of weeks and then I was excited when I got an email from Mr. Tests.
It was creative and different, this was his opener:
"After a rigorous brief overview of your profile I wanted to let you know that I have already married and divorced you in my mind. :)
Thanks for all the wonderful memories…you will always have a special place in my heart.
Your ex-hubby,
PS. I am going to need half of your money according to our prenup. :)"
I responded with this:
"Our wedding was truly one of the most beautiful weddings that I've ever been to. The pictures turned out great, there were no embarrassing speeches, the families didn't fight; it was a day that I'll always fondly remember.
Although, my favorite part was our honeymoon in Europe.
With affection- your ex-wife,
P.S. I'll be sending the check for $2.83 (my half that is left over after the costly divorce fees) later this week :)."
So far, so good. I'm laughing and having a whole lot of fun. This is when the "tests" came into play:
"Europe was awesome wasn't it? Wait, do you still have that sexy outfit, the one you wore with the heels? :)
That reminds me, OMG I just read this today in a girlie magazine. Would you rather…have an amazing singing voice but never be famous, or be famous with a crappy voice, and that’s what you were famous for?
be invisible, or be able to fly?
have one year of amazing, toe-curling, neighbor-calling-911 sex and the next year of no sex, or would you rather have two years of so-so sex?
Good luck :)"
I still liked where our conversations are going but I am getting a bit wary. After I responded, he sent this (confirming that those questions were did a test):
"you passed...barely. JK :) I actually picked 1 year of mind-blowing,toe curling, 911-calling sex because you do that the first year and the second year you can just use your hand and great memories. ;)
Flight because the freedom would be awesome. Invisibily, I dunno. I just dont have trust issues. :)
I'm going to say read minds, Fiji and Making it All Work by David Allen
The real question is do you like Lost and tacos and good
company?"
I'm thinking that is going well and progressing- he may ACTUALLY ask me out on a date and then I get this in my inbox this morning:
"you passed the test...barely :) j/k you are a quite clever. I like that. Well you scored an invite to come to my Taco Soiree. We have so much fun! Shoot me over your # and I’ll txt you the details. Plus you get these bonuses:a new joke my
nephew taught me today and we get to become txt buddies :)wow how lucky are you?!?!? "
Not only, have I had to pass "tests" but now I'm going to be lucky that he texts me. . . I hope this is a sarcastic use of the word.
The kicker is that I have a feeling the Taco Soiree will be with a bunch of his friends (I love meeting the friends but AFTER I've met you), another test. . .
Despite those reservations, I did give out my digits.
I'll let you know what his nephew's joke is.
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